Uncle Billy

My Uncle Billy is in town and I am so excited. Did you know that I judge people entirely on their ability to tell a good story? Well, I do. And as storytellers go, Uncle Billy is TOPS.

Tonight we went out for dinner and Billy and I both got seafood. Me, because I never see a reason NOT to get seafood, and Billy because, hey! It's Maine! Let's get some seafood!

I went with fish and chips, while Billy went with fried clams.

"I haven't had fried clam bellies in five years!" he exclaimed.

Luckily they lived up.

"Man, these are good. Remember when we would get these down at the Connecticut shore? And they'd be all mushy? And have sand in them? And sometimes parts of cars? Like a piece of a key? Or maybe a syringe? Like, hey! [picks at tooth] What is that? Oh. A needle."

No needles tonight, kids.

They should put that testimonial on the menu!

Ace Reporter I am NOT.

While I admittedly was the first to hear of Taylor Swift's arrival in town, it has recently come to my attention that I am by no means worthy of any "Scoop" like nicknames.

According to an article posted by none other than my own newspaper, George Bush Sr.'s boat, Fidelity IV, ran aground at Gooch's Beach around 3 PM yesterday.

Ace Reporter that I am, I arrived at the scene by 4 PM.

Ace Reporter that I am NOT, I arrived, blanket in hand, for a late afternoon nap after working the 5 AM shift.

I slept like a baby, fetal position and all, on that beach, until my pre-set alarm rang at 5:30 PM. Then, I stared at the water for a while deciding whether or not I needed a swim to wake me up. Thinking the waves looked a little rough for my liking, I packed up my things and left.

I NEVER NOTICED THE BOAT.

It could be time for me to find a new line of work.

Shake that thang, hey mama mama!

Remember when my dad and I... and our friend Paul... and then later my friend Sean built that dance studio in my barn? Well, I've been using it. And let me tell you, 85 degree heat makes this dancer a little cranky.

That said, I figured I'd try to catch some of the action on film.

Whoops, that's a little blurry. Let's try this again.

A little better... Question. Does the fact that my feet are too fast to be caught on film make me a total rock star?

Apparently I think so.

T-8 weeks until my Irish Dance exam. Let's do this.

I love me some lobster...

...and so does the Travel Channel!

And so they traveled to Kennebunkport for a Lobster Roll showdown as part of Food Wars.

The contestants? Alisson's and The Clam Shack.

The winner? ...We don't know yet.

But what we do know is that the after party at Alisson's rocked, and I was there to cover it.

Music Seen: Brian Johnson at Alisson's Restaurant, June 27 - 6/30/10