According to an article posted by none other than my own newspaper, George Bush Sr.'s boat, Fidelity IV, ran aground at Gooch's Beach around 3 PM yesterday.
Ace Reporter that I am, I arrived at the scene by 4 PM.
Ace Reporter that I am NOT, I arrived, blanket in hand, for a late afternoon nap after working the 5 AM shift.
I slept like a baby, fetal position and all, on that beach, until my pre-set alarm rang at 5:30 PM. Then, I stared at the water for a while deciding whether or not I needed a swim to wake me up. Thinking the waves looked a little rough for my liking, I packed up my things and left.
I NEVER NOTICED THE BOAT.
It could be time for me to find a new line of work.