On cars and Mexican dip.

It strikes me as strange that I have kept this blog for as long as I have without addressing the issue of my Car. Yes. I capitalized Car. Because my Car causes enough problems that it deserves a little extra emphasis. It's not a car, it's my Car. And my Car... is an issue.

I purchased my car, with the help of my parents, in 2002, shortly after I secured a full ride to a small college in Maine. Paying 90% of the cost of my used car seemed like very little compared to the cash my parents put up for my older sister and younger brother's private college educations.

They felt they were making out like bandits.

I too, felt I was making out like a bandit. I had a car! A lower-case, no issue, no payment car!

But the thing about my Car is... it's a volkswagen. No wait. A Volkswagen. Capital V.

Do you know who should own Volkswagens? People who like tinkering with cars.

Do you know who likes tinkering with cars? Yeah, me neither. Not me. That's for sure.

And making the issue exponentially worse, is the fact that while I am not a bad driver, bad things do tend to happen to me while driving.

(Did you see that? That there was called Creative License.)

The list of... issues... I have survived since acquiring my vehicle is... extensive. There was the time I broke down on the Maine Turnpike in a snowstorm and got stranded at a Dunkin Donuts with a rapidly dying cell phone the day after Christmas. There was the time I spun out of control a mere 100 yards from my own driveway and popped two tires on my way off the road. There was the time my clutch gave out on the first stretch of a trip to Vermont and I ended up stranded at my boyfriend's friend's mother's house for the majority of what was supposed to be a wild spring break. Oh, yeah. And there was the time I drove into a building. Different car, sure. But you get what I'm saying.

So... yes. Some of the time the incidents have been at my own fault.

But others? Others have just been Issues. Capital I. And better yet, Continuing Issues.

Like the fact that in order to start my car I have to quickly jerk the steering wheel to the left while turning the ignition to the right. Or the fact that wet weather, despite having installed a brand new distributor cap, still causes my car to require an ample amount of silicone spray before (maybe) starting. Or how about the fact that only half my dash lights up, except for sometimes, when suddenly the other half lights up, and the unexpected brightness of it on a dark ride home is enough to send me into a tailspin. Or there's also the fact that my clutch is lagging.

Let's just say that every time I call my parents at an unscheduled time, they ask what is wrong with the Car.

Which is exactly why I am excited to report that I got a new job. While I do not plan to write about the job (Welcome. You're Fired.) I will say that the pay associated with the position just may be enough to get me approved for a car payment. And as sad as I will be to kiss my little periwinkle whip goodbye, I am very much looking forward to my only car Issues being MY issues.


Oh, right. I mentioned Mexican dip.

Let's just say that not only am I a girl who has trouble keeping a car on the road, but I am also a girl who 90% of the time is transporting a dish of homemade dip. The two qualities do not go well together.